Time Kept Passing By
by Leosgem
Summary: Just a dabble in what life would have been like for James and Lily, and why they made the choices they did.


Time kept passing by, moving over them like the hands on a clock moved over the numbers. With each lost moment, the world grew darker, not unlike that of the waning day, entering twilight. The time of carefree summers etched in the past, a distant memory that one thought of in the deepest moments of obscurity.

The brooding gloom seemed to take hold of England, but was felt most by the inhabitants of Godric's Hollow. The sky covered in clouds, rain pounding on unsuspecting homes and innocent pedestrians. Cold winds swept the streets and made the lights flicker. In every house, candles had been set up, for fear of losing their light.

The figure of Lily Evans flinched as she felt another lightening bolt strike. It was past all decent hours of the night, as Lily sat in the kitchen, watching out the blurry windows. Ever since James had joined the Order with Sirius and Remus, Lily has spent a many of sleepless nights, waiting and worrying about the boys. It hadn't even been a complete week that James was in the Order, but he was already being kept away from home for prolonged periods of time. It wasn't the cause that Lily was worried about, for she knew they were doing the right thing, but this state of unknown about her husband's health that was pure torture, something far more painful than any Cruciatus curse could ever inflict upon her.

Lily had been torn with joining the Order, not because she didn't want to fight, but because she and James had just gotten married. She knew it was selfish, but she had hoped for just a moment that they could pretend to be blissful newlyweds without danger lurking at every corner. However, she knew that as long as Voldemort lived, there would be no such thing. It was for this reason that she didn't begrudge James for joining a few days after they had been married.

But Lily knew that she couldn't do this any longer. She couldn't simply watch while all her loved ones risked their lives to make a better future. She couldn't read the prophet every morning with dread filling her. Too many lives had been ruined, families torn apart. Lily thought to her own little family in the wizarding world, and knew that she couldn't watch any of them get hurt.

Everyday Lily had to watch more despair enter the world. But no more…she hadn't been placed in Gryffindor carelessly. The time for childish selfishness and idle terror was over. Lily was going to be part of the cause, she was going to join the Order; alongside her husband and their friends.

It was as Lily was having this revelation that she heard two very distinct pops come from the living room. Getting up slowly, Lily made her way to the small room, wand ready at hand. Even nerve in her body was taut with a new sense of alertness. But as she entered, she was relieved to see both James and Sirius there, looking completely shattered. She her way to them and asked the dutiful question to ensure their identities.

"At the fourth year Halloween Festival, who decided to dress up as a female and looked decidedly better in their mock garb, then they would on a normal day?"

"Wormtail!" came the distinct answer from the pair, both of whom were chuckling in appreciation at their handy word.

Lily let out a sigh of relief, and walked over to James, who obligingly wrapped his arms around her and gave Lily a soft kiss. "You two really need to change that question! What if poor Peter heard it? He'd be heart broken!"

"Nah, he'll get over it! Plus, even he knows it's true!" came the light response from Sirius. Lily grinned, shaking her head lightly, and peered at them more closely. It seemed that though they could still enjoy their youthful jokes, their childhood innocence had left long ago. It broke Lily's heart to see both of them looking so much older. Although both were undoubtedly still handsome, their good looks were marred by shadows and etched with constant worry, things that none of them could escape from. Her gaze flicked over to James and she was still surprised that, instead of the arrogant prat that had tormented her in Hogwarts, there stood a young man matured by the passing trial and tribulations. But then life always did have a funny way of snatching away things that one didn't even begin to appreciate until it was gone; much like their lost innocence and shattered blissful ignorance.

"Lily, love, are you going to stand there all night, staring at me, or are you going to help nourish your favorite boys?" James asked gently, smiling at his wife.

"Hmm…? Oh right, of course! Sorry just got lost for a moment!" Lily said, blushing. "I'll heat up some food for you two!" She said, quickly going into action. The two men trudged in behind her, taking their seats at the table.

"So how were things today?" she asked with trepidation. Lily saw a familiar glimmer of a grimace pass between James and Sirius. She bit her lip, since good news now a days were was as scarce as the sun. Setting the food in front of each boy, she went and took a seat next to James. It was Sirius who spoke first.

"He's getting stronger, Lily. We're just coming from cleaning the aftermath of one of his attacks. He's becoming more ruthless with each kill. If we don't stop him soon, the damage will be irreversible. And then we'll never be able to come out of this darkness." It was strange for Lily to see Sirius be so solemn, since it was rarely displayed back at Hogwarts.

Lily felt a shiver pass through her at this recent occurrence. What she wouldn't give to be blessed with any form of heartening news. As they all sat eating in silence, James looked up, circles shadowing his hazel eyes. The hollow voice in which he spoke shook Lily to the core. "They've killed Martha Brigshaw and her granddaughter. They were completely harmless, and those fucking bastards killed them!" Every muscle in James' was rigid as the anger coursed through them. The Brigshaws had been a kind family who had helped them with their impromptu wedding. It was a blow to hear of some of their deaths. "Thank god everyone else made it out alive though! Just wait till I get my hands on those death eaters…" James added darkly.

Lily gently stroked her husband's back, unable to say anything. This new addition to the death list simply fueled her resolve to join the Order. She just hoped that James did object too much. She knew that when James had first joined, she was against it. But now she had finally seen how important it was.

When James and Sirius had finished their meals, Lily quietly took their plates and set them in the sink. "Will you like to stay the night, Sirius? It's terrible weather to be traveling in, especially with that ridiculous motorbike of yours!" It wasn't a rare occurrence to spend the night at their home, especially after their missions, which left the boys exhausted and unable to move. Lily also knew it was a comfort to James to have his best friend close by.

"Thanks, Lily!" Sirius said, shooting her a warm smile. Giving him a small grin back, Lily then turned to James. "Umm…James?" she said aloud. Leaning against the counter.

"Hmm…?" James muttered, looking up. He had a slight dazed look on his face, and it was apparent that he had been completely lost in his thoughts a moment ago.

"James, I'm going to join the Order, with you guys!" Lily declared firmly, holding James' gaze.

James looked up at her, startled. Then with a look incredulity he said, "Lily you can't do that! It's much too dangerous! You might get hurt. Plus we've got things taken care of!"

Lily took a breath and said, "James! When has the thought of getting hurt ever stopped me? And of course I know how much danger is involved, why did you think I was hesitant in letting you join? But I can see now that you were right in joining. People out there need us, and I'll be damned if I sit here waiting any longer! Sirius, can't you make him understand?" Lily asked suddenly, turning to the man who had been quietly trying to blend in with the surroundings.

Sirius looked up, torn between the couple staring at him. He knew that Lily had every right to join the Order, and would probably be a great asset once in. But then there was his best friend to consider. Sirius knew how much James worried about Lily, especially now when nothing was certain. He could see why James would want to protect Lily from the dangers hanging over the real world. Not wanting to get involved, Sirius got up, making a big display of how tired he was. "Sorry, I'd love to part take in this lovely discussion, but my body won't let me stay awake any longer. Thanks so much for the food and bed, Lily! Night you two!" And with that, Sirius nearly ran to his bed.

Rolling her eyes, Lily turned back to James, who had a steely look of determination on his face. "Lily I can't let you do this. It's too dangerous out there. You don't know the horrors that await out there! And like I've said, we have everything under control!"

This time Lily's eyes flashed. "James! Can you for one second put away that male ego of yours, and think straight! I'm not a little girl anymore, who needs protecting! I'm your wife, and will stand beside you and fight!" Lily snapped, but as soon as the words had left her mouth, Lily knew she had said the wrong thing.

James stood up swiftly, making his way slowly to stand in front of her. He looked down at her, his eyes dark. "Lily, my ego has nothing to do with this. I'm not trying to say you can't handle this. But do you what it would do to me, knowing the kind of danger you're putting yourself in? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you! Can't you see that?" He asked.

Lily looked down, biting her lip. "But James I can't, I can't sit here and not try to put forth every effort to stop this war. And think, what if we were to have children, _I wouldn't be able to live with myself_ knowing that I brought them into such a dark existence. So please, don't fight me on this!" Lily said, looking up at him with pleasing, emerald eyes.

James sighed; he knew there was no fighting her on this. And knew that she could be a treasure to the cause. But the selfish side in him wanted to keep her to himself, to not have to expose her to such dismay. Looking down into those emerald eyes, he knew she had won. "Fine Lily, but if you get even the slightest nick, I'm holding you personally accountable." He said in a rough voice.

Lily gave him a bright smile, and kissed him on the lips. "Thank you for understanding, sweetheart!" she said lightly. She then took in how much he had been through tonight and suggested, "Why don't you go to bed love? You look absolutely shattered! I'll be up after I put those dishes away!" She said.

James nodded, and kissed her before going upstairs. Lily made her way to the sink, and manually began cleaning the dishes. Sometimes it was nice to simply do things the muggle way. Lily oddly felt lighter now, having decided to take action, and having James agree with her. She knew it was ridiculous to be happy about fighting, about putting her life on the line, but it gave her a purpose. Putting away the last dish, Lily made her way to her room. Passing by him, she saw that Sirius was already asleep. Quietly she draped a quilt over him, and then resumed going up to her room.

When she entered, she saw James was already fast asleep as well. Slipping into bed, she placed a soft kiss on James' shoulder and snuggled against the comforter. And even though the rain and thunder were still roaring outside and enigmatic dangerous littered the streets, Lily went to sleep with hope for the future.

Sleepily she drew her wand out to the candles, and with a flick of a wand, all was dark.


End file.
